Getting Back on the Wagon

Monday, April 11, 2011

 It is so easy to get off track! A little bit here, a little bit there, and before I know it, I'm really far away from where I had been! The first time it happened to me, it took months to get back on track. The next several times, it was weeks. Then it was days. This time, I began anew the very next day! Even though I gained a ridiculous amount of weight last week (because of going on a 2 day trip and some emotional stuff), I am down to within 3 pounds of the lightest I've been so far. This just proves to me that I'm "getting" it and that I really can do this. Something that I thought about (but didn't phrase so eloquently) was a little gem I read this week on one of the blogs I subscribe to:

I know I'm always one decision away from being back on track. Just one decision away from starting over and feeling better.

So true! And this time, I didn't freak out and get frustrated and whine and moan and complain...I just simply made better choices at the very next meal. As soon as I got home from the trip, I immediately started eating cleaner and healthier. It was simple as that! I didn't wait until Monday, I didn't wait until a certain day, I just did it. It's not revolutionary to most people, but it is to me. The thing that is amazing to me is that is how I began my journey last June too. I didn't know what I could eat, or even if we had anything at home that I could eat, but I took the leap of faith. My very first meal was butternut squash soup and a wrap....for breakfast! It was the best that I could do and it actually was a great meal! Another thing that Sheryl said on her blog was:

Remember how I said that no matter how dark the tunnel is now, that I would always find the light, no matter how long it took - Because I knew it was there and I wasn't giving up until I found it?

Well one very important thing I left out and should have said was that I know I will always find that light because I now know that the light I'm searching for isn't out there somewhere, it's *IN* me. I have the light. I had it the whole time, but it took me years to realize it. And I have access to it any time I want it or need it. And as I try to point out often, I am not special - this is not unique to me - we ALL have that light within us. We just have to *believe* it's there and *want* to find it. 

Wow! She made me realize that I have this light too and I need to just keep cultivating it. I tend to get bogged down by various things, but if I keep my eyes on the goal, I WILL reach it someday. One thing that frustrated me this last week was shopping at Ross. I'm inbetween the plus-size section and the regular section and I couldn't find anything that fit. It really made me emotional because I have been working so hard for 10 months now and that made me feel like I haven't gotten anywhere....but I have! I need to celebrate what I have accomplished instead of what I haven't. It's a good lesson to learn and I can't say I'll never do it again, but I'll keep trying. In the end, that's all that any of us can do, right?

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